


too far:: jally

by nostalgic_pants



Category: The Outsiders (1983), The Outsiders - All Media Types, The Outsiders - S. E. Hinton
Genre: Angst, Angst and Feels, Drug Use, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-05
Updated: 2018-03-05
Packaged: 2019-03-27 12:09:13
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,030
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13880568
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nostalgic_pants/pseuds/nostalgic_pants
Summary: dallas winston isn’t the man he used to be, and johnny cade can’t take it anymore





	too far:: jally

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Azillawn](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Azillawn/gifts).



Johnny Cade had always put up with Dallas Winston. When he came home smelling like weed, corner store cologne, and cheap whiskey, he plastered on a smile and took his lover to their bed and took care of him. Some nights, Dally didn’t even come home. What did Johnny do? He went out looking for him, going everywhere from Buck’s place to the lot, to the abandoned depot. He would stay out all night to find him.There’s a point when you just have to stop. There’s a point when you no longer care. But Johnny never reached that point. Not yet. Not ever, he would tell himself. But Johnny Cade was wrong about a lot of things.

“Dallas? D-Dallas is that you?” Johnny flipped the light switch on and got out of bed upon hearing the front door open. He stumbled out of the bedroom and rubbed his eyes. After seeing the drunken mess of a man that was standing in the doorframe, he sighed and tensed up a little. Johnny took one look at Dally and knew that he was far beyond sober when he made it back to the home they shared. Almost a year ago, the two of them had scraped up enough money to buy the house. It wasn’t much, just a little one-story thing, but it was Johnny’s pride and joy. He spent the whole month of June painting, furnishing, and decorating it to surprise Dally when he got out of the cooler. Those were the good days, Johnny thought. Before Dally started coming home later and later. Before he began showing up in the paper for more than just the small things, like being out drunk, or getting into fights. Before Dallas Winston got caught in the mess of addictions and depression. But, through all of this, Johnny stayed around. He cared for Dally on the best and worst days. He paid the bills each month, even if it meant he hadn’t bought new clothes since before they bought the house. Even if it meant skipping meals and losing sleep to make sure Dally didn’t run off in the middle of the night to get high.

“D-Dallas…?” Johnny asked again, moving closer to Dally. He flinched back when the older boy took a shaky step towards him and mumbled something barely audible. After a few moments, Johnny pulled himself together and lead Dallas to the bedroom. He wouldn’t know it until later, but this would be the night that Dallas Winston went too far.

Dallas swore that he would never hurt Johnny. But he swore a lot of things when he was sober. That night, in that little house that they had once shared so many nights together in, Dallas broke his promise.

“Dallas, I...I can’t do this anymore…” Johnny refused to meet the icy blue eyes staring at him. “Every night, you-- you’re either drunk, high… I miss you… the old you” If Dallas hadn’t been so drunk, he might have noticed the tears forming in the smaller boy’s eyes. Instead, he said nothing, stood up and started out the door. “Where the hell are you going now? Huh? Gonna go get high and forget that I’m here, Dallas? Is that what you’re gonna do?” Johnny followed Dally to the front of the house, where he stood, ready to leave. He had never raised his voice at Dally. Never gotten mad, never gotten upset. But he couldn’t take much more of this anymore. “You…” He choked back a sob “You don’t love me anymore…”

Dallas looked at Johnny blankly. If there was any emotion or feeling in his mind, he sure didn’t show it. “I’m going to Buck’s place… I’ll be sober, next time you see me, how’s that for ya’?” He turned back to the door, his hand already resting on the knob.

“Don’t you f*cking dare, Dallas Winston…” Perhaps the fact that Johnny had both swore, and used his full name was what caused Dally to turn around and face him. Or maybe it was whatever minuscule bit of compassion and conscience that was left in him. “What does it matter to you, kid. Man, it don’t matter one bit whether I turn up dead or drunk or whatever. Why’s it matter to you?”

Johnny could have broken down right there. He could have given a thousand reasons why it mattered to him. But he didn’t. Instead, he looked Dallas dead in the eyes. In his own dark eyes, was fear. Fear and anger.

“Because I care about you, you damn idiot!” Johnny shouted, more upset than he had ever been. For the first time in all his years of living, Johnny was more upset than he was afraid. He took a shaky breath and stared right back his black eyes shining.

“Then stop caring about me! God, why don’t you get it? I DON’T CARE” The moment the words had left his mouth, Dallas wished he could take them back. “J-Johnny-- Johnny that ain’t what I--” He tried to undo what he had just said, but it was too late.

Johnny took one last look at Dallas. He muttered a soft “I’m sorry,” before rushing out the front door, slamming it behind him. He ran as fast as he could, barely able to breathe. He eventually made it to the Curtis house, where he gently knocked on the door. Upon entering, he crumpled into the youngest brother’s arms and sobbed harder than he ever had.

“J-Johnnycakes, what’s happenin’? What’s wrong?” Ponyboy asked as he pulled the boy inside, looking around for his other two brothers. It took hours for him to coax the words out of Johnny. When he did, he hardly knew what to say. Ponyboy just held Johnny close as the night slowly turned to day.

At this same point in time, Dally sat on the kitchen floor, sober for the first time in days. Slowly he got to his feet and reached for the liquor cabinet. “I’m sorry, Johnny…” he whispered, though the boy he loved was long gone. “I’m so sorry…” It would be a long time until Dallas Winston was sober again.

 

 

 

 

 

 


End file.
